My friends the baka and still a work in progress
by Zianna
Summary: Hey? Yes you! You know that group of friends that are nothing alike eachother, at all? Yah I'm in one of those! :Join Sasuke as he gives us some tips!


Hey! I felt like writing something stupid... The Take me as I am I am writing is really sad and dramatic this time so I need a little push in a happy writer mood of super awesomeness!

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You know that guy with the two friends that are exact opposites of one other and as a group it's a wonder they are friends? Yeah I am that guy... Name? Why in the hell should I tell you? I mean I am the great Sasuke Uchiha... damn... Well whatever today I am having fun watching my two best friends, don't ask me how that happened, fight over which one is right...

The blondie? His name is Naruto Usumaki! He's an real dobe. Like I mean he is the Dobe of all Bakas and he's really annoying. Naruto, a pretty good hearted guy, has an I.Q of Ino when she has have a little too much sugar... I've seen it... I'm mentally scarred now too. Well he is also easily angered and will fight before he thinks. He also ends up saying some pretty wrong stuff when he doesn't think it through... It annoys me so much... Sakura about kills him for it every time. Ahhh Sakura...

You see that boiling angry pink haired girl? Yeah, she's Sakura... She OK... I guess... Sakura is smart... and pretty... but not really pretty just pretty... I think she is any way... I mean... I hate you... Well besides that she has one mean temper and she is like scary strong... Like she could kick m-- I mean Naruto's ass-- strong... No one can do that me... I am Sasuke after all.

I wonder what they are fighting about... They fight so much it has gotten to the point that I can predict them... I think I'll write a book... I will title it: _My friends the baka... and still a work in progress , How I learned to live with them (and other idiots I call friends... I guess I would call them that) _I will make millions off that title... OK here is one way I learned how to survive:

**You are not, AND I MEAN ARE NOT, ever going to get the shower first...ever**

Don't even give me that: I have cool ninja skill crap! You will never get the shower first... EVER! I mean I almost got in once... but Sakura pulled a PMSing mood on me and I was out of there before you could say anything... Sakura used to give me the shower all the time when we were 12... Now that has changed and I can never get the shower... ever... The only thing I miss about those days...

Also... one of your friends probably never takes and shower and right when you NEED one... he is in there... NOT EVEN TAKING A FREAKING BATH! Sorry... I hate that... Naruto and demanding to clip his toe nails in the bath room...

OK next one: **When they are happy with you...roll with it**

There was once a time Sakura wouldn't even touch my face... now every time she is mad at me... she takes a swing for it. I guess it's what I deserve but for a girl her punches hurt! So when she is happy with me I roll with it... I need the Sasuke bashing to stop some days... One time I totally ignored her in one of her happy-go-freakin-lucky moods... BIG MISTAKE!! She punched me and kicked my-- I mean Naruto's-- ass...Then she told me to burn in hell... I've been told that before by when you are getting hit again and again by Sakura... it hurts a little bit more...

Naruto he will take anything out on me... He didn't do well on a mission: Sasuke's fault, He lost a nickel: Sasuke's fault, HE STUBBED HIS DAMN TOE: Sasuke's FAULT... I should deal with it now...but it gets really annoying. He is always on his man periods too... It annoys me... and when he's too happy it annoys... Naruto is always happy!! ALWAYS!!!! I've only seen his pissed a couple times, I mean seriously not I can't pay for Raman or KIA made fun of me pissed, but ready to ripped out your throat pissed... Naruto is hard to deal with but I like him better then moody Sakura ... well... heh heh

OK! You need to listen to this one if you know a female: **No sexist jokes or undermining woman **

I don't see why that makes woman so mad. That is like beyond me, I mean really! You tell a woman she needs to cook you a breakfast she goes crazy and wants to kill you! You tell her that her boobs look big, she gets red in the face and threatens to kill you! Then slaps you so hard you about die! It makes them go like bonkers!Like Naruto that time I deprived him of ramen for a month!

" Sasuke you're right" Sakura would say when we were 12, she loved the ground I walked on. Now if I say something about girls being weak, what happens? " YOU SEXIST BASTARD! I WILL KILL YOU!" Then the slaps and beating is practiced until I'm-- Naruto-- has had his ass whooped! So just remember that!

Well That is the end of that... Oh wait here they come... I have to act interested...

"Sasuke!" Naruto yells out. I look to him and sigh, why do they being me into it?

"What?" I ask, annoyed.

"You like me more right!?!?" Sakura yells out and I stare at her completely taken back... So they have been fighting over which one I like best this whole entire time... Well I almost -- _**ALMOST**_-- feel ... _bad_ for the friend bashing...

" I... Sakura..." I turn around to leave and I hear Sakura yelling.

" Yeah! I told you! Even after we tried to be annoying as all hell he still likes me more!" I twitch a little... I look back about to kill them both but Sakura smiling one of those smiles and Naruto's laughing... I guess I'm not that mad...

" Come on, Sasuke! Let's go get something to eat!" Sakura takes my hand and she starts running... Yeah... I guess I'm not mad any more...

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So? What did you think? 


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